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30 December 2010 @ 01:27 am
My father is an idiot  

My dads health lately has been pretty bad lately, me and mom were worried because a couple of years ago he had walking pneumonia and had to be hospitalized. Because he's a stubborn man who hates admitting his health is failing and hates bothering with doctor’s appointments or my mothers meddling attempts to keep him from dying before he reaches 70.

He also was diagnosed with Emphysema at some point, and before that he had skin cancer. In other words not a man with a great immune system, he started smoking when he was 15 and he's been an alcoholic since I was in middle school. Despite all these health problems he kept up the smoking and drinking, although he did scale back a little I think.

We finally got him to see a doctor last week or so, and he finally got a follow up visit to check out his chest x-rays. And now the doctor isn’t sure if the dark spots on the x-rays are not perhaps LUNG CANCER. He isn’t sure; they need to do a biopsy next week to get a better idea of what’s going on in my dad’s chest. They know he has fluid in one lung and that’s about it.
The doctor wanted dad to go to a hospital last week but dad insisted on trying meds at home instead, my dad however was mostly refusing to eat last week and spent a lot of time arguing with my mom over meals. His diet has consisted mostly of egg nog and tomato soup, and that of course only made him weaker and made it harder to take the steroids and drug cocktail he was supposed to be on.

At this point the future is unclear. I am working on the reality that if dad does have lung cancer the chances of him beating it are pretty slim. He is a pretty frail man these days, I've watched him waste away over the past 10 years from being the strong hero of my childhood to a mortal man who I often couldn’t handle talking to do to my underlying anger at his refusal to stop doing things that hurt him. That made him say hurtful things that alienated us from each other. I am actually relieved I am as upset about this possible uncertain future because at least it means I am capable of still loving this man who I feel has warped and twisted me.

The family is currently dealing with it like how we deal with all problems, pretending they dont exist and that we dont have feelings. We will manage.

Current Mood: melancholymelancholy
peroxidepest17peroxidepest17 on December 30th, 2010 06:47 am (UTC)
*hugs* sometimes I feel that's the way my mom treats my dad's diabetes. She just KEEPS FEEDING him all this stuff he's not supposed to eat because "it's fine, he's not that bad" even though he IS, and my dad has to face either eating it and having DANGEROUSLY HIGH BLOOD SUGAR or not eating it and having my mom act all insulted at him for weeks in her passive-aggressive asian-woman way.

Er. The point of this comment was supposed to be me saying I hope it's not lung cancer. ;_;
Karenautumnia on December 30th, 2010 01:40 pm (UTC)
The whole situation sucks. I'm sorry to hear about how tough it's been on you and your family and I hope that it's not cancer.

I am actually relieved I am as upset about this possible uncertain future because at least it means I am capable of still loving this man who I feel has warped and twisted me.

Illnesses aside, I think we all go through at one point or another the exact same thing. Parents can do stupid things and we all get mad because they just don't listen or follow instructions that are supposed to make them better. And no matter how frustrated and angry we get, there's still some part of us that cares and loves them. I really do hope things look up for you!
Sabo-chan!: susundeirucactuar_tamer on December 31st, 2010 02:53 pm (UTC)

That's a pretty lousy kind of situation to be in. I hope it's not as bad as it might look.
Jey: Bleach | Renji - GUHchynoi on January 2nd, 2011 09:13 am (UTC)
Ugh, dealing with stubborn people is up there on the Top 10 things to stab with a fork in life. I'm sorry to hear that your Dad hasn't been taking good care of himself in the past years and now things aren't lookin' so hot... I suppose the only thing I can hope for you is for your Dad to give in a little and show some cooperation. You're only lookin' out for the best for him. :C